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The Fifty Pound Tatoo

By
Alin Pandaru
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0

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, “Where in the hell have you been?”
Larry replies, “I was out getting a tattoo.”
“A tattoo?” she frowned. “What kind of tattoo did you get?”
“I got a Fifty Pound note on my privates,” he said proudly.
“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in disdain. “Why on earth would an accountant get a Fifty Pound note tattooed on his privates?”
“Well, for one…I like to watch my money grow.
“Two…once in a while I like to play with my money.
“Three…I like how money feels in my hand.
“And, lastly…instead of you going out wasting money on shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow Fifty quid anytime you want.”

Larry is recovering nicely in the hospital…

Breakfast at Tiffany's

By
Alin Pandaru
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0

Dupa atatea melodii noi, azi va ofer o melodie mai veche… si totodata va recomand si filmul “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” Mie unul mi-a placut :D Si tot referitor la melodie, recunosc ca pana acum n-am fost atent la versuri… dar sunt chiar interesante :P

Deep Blue Something – Breakfast at Tiffany’s
– Lyrics –

You say that we’ve got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we’re falling apart
You’ll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don’t care

And I said what about “Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
She said, “I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it.”
And I said, “Well, that’s the one thing we’ve got.”

I see you – the only one who knew me
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It’s plain to see we’re over,
And I hate when things are over –
When so much is left undone

And I said what about “Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
She said, “I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it.”
And I said, “Well, that’s the one thing we’ve got.”

You say that we’ve got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we’re falling apart
You’ll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don’t care

And I said what about “Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
She said, “I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it.”
And I said, “Well, that’s the one thing we’ve got.”

Sad fact

By
Alin Pandaru
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0

“Sometimes, we ignore the truth, we ignore the pain, we ignore the consequences. Just for ‘someone’ who’s always IGNORING us. :)”

Maxima zilei

By
Alin Pandaru
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0

Vor exista mereu oameni care te vor rani, asa ca trebuie sa-ti pastrezi încrederea si doar sa ai mai multa grija în cine ai încredere si a doua oara.

Gabriel Jose Garcia Marquez

La Ginecolog

By
Alin Pandaru
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0

Vine una la ginecologie impreuna cu copilul ei de 5 ani.
– Doamna, trebuie sa va consult, copilul trebuie sa astepte afara, zice doctorul.
– Nu e nevoie, este un mic geniu stie totul in medicina, puteti sa-l intrebati orice.
Cam nehotarat doctorul se pregateste pentru consultatie, si se gandeste sa-l testeze totusi pe copil…
– Ce fac eu acum? il intreaba direct.
– Domnul doctor isi pune manusile pentru a nu contracta sau distribui germeni, raspunde imediat copilul
– Mda… raspunde doctorul putin enervat, dar acum ce fac? mai intreaba el in timp ce se uita la femeia urcata pe masa.
– Acum faceti un examen vizual asupra vaginului mamei mele, raspunde imediat micutul.
Enervat la culmea doctorul se dezbraca si incepe o partida de sex cu femeia de pe masa…
– Ia mai zi ma, acuma ce mai fac? se rasteste el.
– Acum iei SIDA, bai fraiere, raspunde netulburat copilul.

Breakeven

By
Alin Pandaru
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0

Tot in premiera… si tot pe pandutzu.com, noua melodie a celor de la The Script, extrasa de pe albumul cu acelasi nume. E chiar misto albumul lor si vi-l recomand si voua sa-l ascultati…

The Script – Breakeven
I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don’t believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don’t break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that’s gonna put her 1st
While I’m wide awake she’s no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don’t breakeven… even… no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and your ok
I’m falling to pieces yeah
I’m falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she’s moved on while I’m still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don’t breakeven even… no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say when I’m all choked up and your ok
I’m falling to pieces yeah
I’m falling to pieces yeah
I’m falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
I’m falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don’t breakeven)

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I’m tryna make sense of what little remains ooh
Cos you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don’t believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don’t break
No it don’t break
No it don’t break even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say when I’m all choked up and your ok
(Oh glad your okay now)
I’m falling to pieces yeah
(Oh I’m glad your okay)
I’m falling to pieces yeah
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I’m falling to pieces
Cos when a heart breaks no it don’t breakeven)

Oh it don’t break even no
Oh it don’t break even no
Oh it don’t break even no

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