yes, it’s safe.. trust me :p
credits to Gogo
Film porno care poate fi vazut si de la serviciu
La golf
Accident la golf. Doua femei joaca golf si se distreaza de minune pana cand una dintre ele trimite mingea exact in mijlocul unui grup de barbati. Din nefericire, unul dintre ei cade secerat la pamant, zvircolindu-se de durere cu ambele maini intre picioare. Femeia fuge la el, isi cere mii de scuze si il roaga sa-i permita sa-l ajute pentru ca, intamplator, este asistenta medicala.
– Nu, multumesc, in citeva minute am sa-mi revin, sopteste barbatul, cu mainile tot intre picioare. Simtindu-se teribil de vinovata, femeia ii da miinile usor la o parte, ii desface cu mare grija fermoarul pantalonilor si incepe sa-l maseze in zona genitala.
– Va simtiti mai bine? il intreaba la un moment dat.
– Da, mult mai bine, geme tipul. Dar degetele de la mana tot ma dor ca dracu.
Legile vietii
“Atunci cind ai nevoie sa descui o usa, cu miinile ocupate de zece pungi mari si grele… cheia se va afla in buzunarul opus miini pe care cu greu ti-ai eliberat-o”.
(Legea Degeabasuni)
“Singura data cind poarta se inchide singura e atunci cind ai lasat cheile pe dinauntru”. ( Legea Futuipastelemasiidecheie )
“Cand ai miinile pline de unsoare incepe sa te gidile nasul” (Legea Nasuvreauntura )
“Cand ti se pare ca totul merge foarte bine… e pentru ca ai trecut cu vederea ceva important…” ( Legea samitragpalme)
“Daca reusesti sa-ti pastrezi calmul cind toti din jurul tau sint disperati… e pentru ca nu ai priceput pe deplin gravitatea problemei” ( Legea Incanapicatfisa )
“Problemele nu se creeaza, nici nu se rezolva, ele doar se transforma!” ( Legea Astanueviata)
“Vei ajunge fugarind la telefon exact cit sa mai auzi cum cineva incide receptorul”. (Legea Ghicicineafost )
“Mereu sint doua filme bune pe doua programe diferite la televizor….dar mereu la aceasi ora”. ( Legea Isibatjocdenoi )
“Probabilitatea de a te pata in timpul mesei creste direct proportional cu necesitatea de a-ti pastra haina curata!” (Legea Numaiflescai)
“Orice corp omenesc scufundat intr-o vana facant o baie relaxanta cu spuma face sa sune telefonul!” (Legea Cinedracusunaloraasta)
“Orice corp omenesc asezat pe WC face sa sune suneria de la intrare!” (Legea Nicisamacacinlinistenupot)
“Viteza vintului creste direct proportional cu pretul coafurii recent facute!” (Legea Chelulnuseagita)
“Daca, dupa multi ani, te decizi si arunci ceva ce nu ai folosit demult…. Nu vor trece nici trei zile si vei avea absoluta si urgenta nevoie exact de acel obiect!” (Legea Sa-mibagpiciorul)
“Mereu cind ajungi punctual nu va fi nimeni sa te vada, dar cind intirzii doar 5 minute… vor fi toti deja prezenti … si toti se vor uita la ceas si vor clatina din cap! (Legea N-am Aripilapicioare)
“Nu lua asa in serios viata, la urma urmei oricum nu scapi viu din ea!”
credits to Andrei Srp
Remember me… special needs
Placebo – Special Needs
-lyrics-
Remember me when youre the one whos silver screen
Remember me when youre the one you always dreamed
Remember me when everyones noses start to bleed
Remember me, special needs
Just 19 and suckers dream I guess I thought you had the flavour
Just 19 and dream obscene with six months off for bad behaviour
Remember me when you clinch your movie deal
And think of me stuck in my chair that has four wheels
Remember me through flash photography and screams
Remember me, special dreams
Just 19 this suckers dream I guess I thought you had the flavour
Just 19 and dream obscene with six months off for bad behaviour
Just 19 and suckers dream I guess I thought you had the flavour
Just 19 and dream obscene with six months off for bad behaviour
Remember me…
Just 19 this suckers dream I guess I thought you had the flavour
Just 19 and dream obscene with six months off for bad behaviour
Just 19 and suckers dream I guess I thought you had the flavour
Just 19 and dream obscene with six months off for bad behaviour
CFR Cluj – Steaua Live Online
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CFR Cluj |
Steaua Bucuresti |
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Chinese Torture
A young man is wandering and lost in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door, he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long gray beard. “I’m lost,” said the young man. “Can you put me up for the night?” “Certainly,” the Chinese man said, “but on one condition. If you lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.” “OK,” said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old, and entered the house.
During dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn’t keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man’s warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. During the night, he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet, so the old man wouldn’t hear. Near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, “Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest.” “Well, that’s pretty crappy,” he thought.”If that’s the best the old man can do, then I don’t have much to worry about.” He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window, and threw the boulder out.
As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read, “Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.” In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.
As he plummeted towards the ground, he saw a large sign on the ground that read, “Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed post.”